Question and Answer

The Sentence Doctor

Q: Does this sentence make sense to you? How would you rephrase these sentences to sound more right?
(Questioner says, "English is my second language by the way:)" )

"Please, please please someone guide me through. I do not nearly love myself as much as I did before. I tried blaming others, it all comes back at me twofold. I tried to wash it out by intoxicating myself with musics, nothing works."

A: Yes, it makes sense, But it's actually several sentences. And there are a few corrections to make... though your English is astonishingly good for a non-native speaker. I particularly like the image of trying to wash it out by intoxicating yourself with music.

You should put a comma after each occurrence of 'please'. You should move 'nearly' to be just before 'as much as I did before.' You should replace the comma after 'others' with a semicolon or add the word 'and' or 'but'. Likewise, you should replace the comma after 'musics' with a semicolon or add the word 'but'. And you MUST take the 's' off of 'musics'.

So... it might read, 'Please, please, please, someone guide me through. I do not love myself nearly as much as I did before. I tried blaming others, but it all comes back to me twofold. I tried to wash it out by intoxicating myself with music, but nothing works.'

This entry was chose as "Best Answer" to the question "Does this sentence make sense to you?" on Yahoo! Answers on August 9th, 2010.

Source(s):

http://www.wordweaverblog.com, http://www.wordweaver4u.com, http://www.wordweaverblog.blogspot.com, http://www.bookblogghostcopywritereditor.blogspot.com,

Author Question and Answers

What do you do to keep from getting bored when writing?

Q: I'm currently writing a book, and I've gotten to where when I sit down to start writing I really don't want to. I'll want to until I sit down to actually write, then I just want to do something else. What do you do when this happens?

A: Sometimes, I get up and go do something else! Ask yourself, are you allowing enough fun into your life? All work and no play does indeed make Jack a dull boy. And you're the only one who can judge your fun status.

But if that's not the problem, it may be that you've pre-structured your writing too much. If you're writing nonfiction you pretty much have to follow your outline, but if it's fiction you're writing, are you pre-planning the life out of your characters? Do you think you know them so well they can't surprise you? If so, let go of the reins. Give them their head, and they're bound to come up with some delightful surprises that will energize you.

One way or another, you have to get over being bored. After all, you're the only one who can breathe life into your work. What excited you about this project in the first place? Get back to that, and chances are you'll feel energized again. Maybe you need to throw a wrench into the works -- a new character or problem situation -- to wake you up.

Whatever you do, do something different.

Author Question and Answer

Q: When you're writing a book, is it best to write the first chapter first?

A: Not necessarily. You can start anywhere. The first chapter can be the hardest to craft, and many writers find it easier to leave it to the end. Starting at the beginning can give you a sense of continuity, but don't spend a lot of time there because you may get new ideas as the story or discussion develops that you'll want to work into the opening. The beginning of the book often ends up vastly different from the way the author initially imagined it.

Q: Why should you generally use active voice instead of passive voice?

A: The main reason you should generally use active voice rather than passive voice is that the active voice enlivens your writing, whereas overuse of the passive voice can render it dull and lifeless.

There are two primary factors at work here:

a) The focus of a clause or sentence in active voice is on the performer of the action, and therefore on the action itself, while the focus of a passive clause or sentence is on the object affected by the action, and therefore on the outcome or result of the action.

b) The passive voice forces you to use at least one relatively empty word (some form of the verb "to be"); if you want to identify the performer of the action, you must also use the relatively empty preposition "by." Empty words sit silent in your sentences and suck the life out of your writing.

If you listen to sportscasters, you will hear all active verbs when they're describing a play in the making; later, when they're analyzing the play, you may hear a passive verb here and there. No, they don't do this on purpose; it's what we do naturally when we speak.

Note how the first example below feels like a description of the event itself, while the second feels more like an explanation after the fact:

1a) Jessie threw the ball.

1b) The ball was thrown by Jessie.

Once in a while, however, the passive voice is more appropriate. It's a matter of focus. If you want to focus on the outcome or result of an action rather than on the action or the performer of the action, use the passive voice.

Examples:

2a) The baseball hit him in the chest.

This sentence might be appropriate as an answer to the question "What just happened?"

2b) He was hit in the chest by the baseball.

This sentence might be appropriate as an answer to the question "Why is he all bandaged up?"

2c) He was hit in the chest.

This sentence might also be appropriate as an answer to the question "Why is he all bandaged up?" Here, the agent is unexpressed, or possibly unknown. This sentence is all about what happened to the fellow who got hit.

3a) Andrew Morley wrote this book.

This sentence is about Andrew Morley and what he did.

3b) This book was written by Andrew Morley.

This sentence is about the book itself.

So don't be afraid to use the passive voice, but save it for cases when you want to focus on the outcome or the person or thing affected by the action of the verb. It's easy to overuse the passive; I suggest you go over your writing and substitute active voice wherever appropriate. If in doubt, use active voice.

Liven Up Your Writing!

Want to be a better writer?

Writing is like people, in that it wants to be leaner, cleaner, and more energetic. And it wants to dance! Your writing may need to go on a word diet and exercise program. Here are some suggestions:

1. Eliminate any "empty" words, i.e., words that don't add to the message. Look for deletable instances of 'that' and 'is/was/are/were/has/had' (and combinations of these, like 'that are' or 'who were').

2. Get rhythm! Read your writing aloud to hear the cadence. (The French writer Flaubert was famous for his 'gueuloir', his 'shouting room', where he regularly read his own work out loud to make sure it had ear appeal.)

3. If the rhythm is dull, spice it up by varying word length and sentence length and structure.

4. Choose active verbs over passive whenever possible. (It's almost always possible.)

5. At every opportunity, replace a dull and lifeless word with one that is more specific and energetic. (Yes, a thesaurus is a writer's best friend!)

6. To add life, keep it simple. Avoid unnecessary nominalizations (like the previous word), i.e., long nouns derived from verbs. Instead of saying 'he made a decision,' say 'he decided.' Note: In the case of 'nominalization', we have a noun based on a verb ('nominalize') that is itself based on a noun ('nom', Latin for 'noun').

7. Vary your vocabulary; avoid overusing any one word.

8. If you're referring to a person, add life by writing 'who' instead of 'that'.

9. Use commas to break up long sentences.

7. Use a variety of different sentence structures in each paragraph.

10. Keep your paragraphs short. 7-10 lines is long enough!

I hope you find this helpful. This entry was chose as "Best Answer" to the question "What can I do to improve my writing?" on Yahoo! Answers on August 6th, 2010.

No Time to Write? Not a Writer? A Ghost Writer Can Help!

Melinda Marsh, D.C., is a chiropractor whose unique healing work has helped hundreds of men and women return from the agony of disabling back injuries to lead happy, productive lives. Not a day goes by that a client doesn't say, "Dr. Marsh, you should write a book!"

Indeed she should. With her expertise she could help thousands, millions even. When I asked her if she was working on a book, she said, "Yes, I've started one. But my patients come first. I'm so busy I don't have time to write!"

Mark Sjogrin invented a simple device that turns banana peels into dish soap. The product works like a charm, but it's the story of how he discovered it that deserves to be a book. "I've tried to write it," he says, "but I get bogged down. I'll never get it finished."

If you have no time to write, or if you're having a hard time finding the words to get your message across, a ghost writer may be the perfect solution. A ghost writer knows how to turn your wonderful ideas into irresistible prose that reads as if you'd written it yourself – only better.

How can a ghost writer help you?

• A ghost writer can pick up where you pooped out and complete what you've started.
• A ghost writer can organize your material and make it reader-friendly.
• A ghost writer can set you up as the expert in your field.
• A ghost writer can help you get your book published and out into the hands of readers.
• A ghost writer can save you time and money by doing the writing for you.

And... YOU get all the credit for the published work.

So... what questions do you need to consider before contacting a ghostwriter?

• What topic are you going to write about?
• What qualifies you to write on your topic (personal experience, education, or research)?
  
• Is the book fiction or nonfiction, or somewhere in-between?
  
• What audience is likely to want to buy and read your book?
• What books have already been written on this topic?
• How are you going to provide the information (written notes, outline, rough draft, tapes, personal interviews)?
• What is your goal in writing the book? Do you want to use it as a cornerstone of your business? Are you writing it to entertain? to help people solve a problem? What do you hope readers will gain from reading your book?
• What plans do you have for publishing (seeking an agent and a conventional publisher, self-publishing, publishing online as an ebook, etc.)?
• What is your budget for writing this book?
  

Although you don't have to know the answers to all these questions before contacting a ghost writer, you should start thinking about them today. For more information, go wordweaver4U.com. And I'd love to hear from you. Call me at 760-434-5224!

Here's to your book!

Warm wishes,
Chiwah Carol Slater
wordweaver4U.com

Hey, Book Writer – Make Your Memoir Reader-Friendly

"Chiwah took what I'd written and massaged it and turned it into a book that makes me look like a great writer."

Those heartwarming words came from Scott Miller, a Viet Nam veteran who had a great story to tell. Scott doesn't think of himself as a writer, but he's a heck of a storyteller. His book, The Incarcerated Kid with the Lacerated Head, stands as evidence to that fact.

Scott came to me with a manuscript of a memoir chock-full of wonderfully entertaining stories from his childhood and young adult years. He didn't need a copy writer or a ghost writer – he'd already written the book. His grammar was awful, his spelling atrocious. I didn't care – I was too busy laughing as he took me back to my own childhood, hiding behind the couch, playing with matches... reveling in the adventures and misadventures of growing up in America in the '50s.

Now, any book publicist will tell you that unless you're rich and famous, nobody is going to be interested in your memoir. And that's true. Does that mean you can't succeed by writing a story culled from your own life experiences? By no means! You can do what Scott did: Turn your memoir into a story that takes your readers back to relive the joys and tender moments of their own lives.

The power of any book is in how if affects the reader. The reason we say memoirs don't sell is that they tend to be all about you, and nobody even knows who you are, or cares. So when you write your story, step out and become the storyteller.

It's fine to see yourself as one of the characters, the one called "I," from whose perspective we hear the tale. But don't make the story about you. Remember, your reader doesn't care about you. Your reader cares about the story, and it's the characters that create the adventures that bring a story to life. So take an objective look at every person you write about, including yourself. Think about what makes these people tick, and write that into the story, as Scott did.

So what if your grammar and spelling are a mess? That's what editors were made for. If you bring me a well told story, I'll turn it into good writing. The key is in the depth of your insight into yourself and the characters who lived the story with you.

7 Deadly Mistakes a Writer Should Avoid, Part 2

Welcome back!

In my last post, I covered four of the seven major pitfalls every writer and editor should fight to avoid. Today I'm on to the remaining three, as promised! But first – for those of you who might not have read the previous blog, I shall briefly note the four already discussed:

1) The Dreary Opening Paragraph (Ho-hum initial sentence fails to peak curiosity!)
2) Uninspiring Description (Be clear! Root out 'very' and replace '-ly' adverbs with action verbs.)
3) Wrong Choice of Homonym ('Bear' for 'bare'; 'of' for 'have.')
4) The Unsightly Comma (As in, 'George Spencer, would never do such a thing.')

Now, with that taken care of, now we're free to move on. So ... here goes!

5) Overuse of 'That' and 'Which
THAT: This word serves a number of functions, some of them legitimate. I have no issue with its use as an identifier, often accompanied in the real world by a pointing finger, as in "That book," or simply "That." And it's downright necessary in some relative clauses as well; while it's fine to say "The book that pleased the boys most was a well crafted ghost story," for example, the sentence would make no sense (some British dialects notwithstanding) if 'that' were omitted.

Yet, for all its legitimacy in certain linguistic situations, your blog or book will make better reading if you eliminate every unnecessary use of 'that.' Why? They're dead weight, and they suck the life out of your book or blog. Feel the difference between these two sentences:
"The editor believes the blog needs work" vs. "The editor believes that the blog needs work." See how much clearer and crisper the first one is than the second?

Once again, we have a problem that arises out of our confusion of spoken and written English. The unnecessary use of 'that' is not a problem in conversation; it's only when a writer transfers spoken English to the page that it becomes an issue. In other words, 'that' is such a tiny little word in spoken English that the ear doesn't object, but when it takes up space on the page without contributing anything the eye objects.

That said, I'm not advising you to go back over your work and delete every occurrence of 'that.' No! Before you delete them, say each sentence aloud without 'that'; if it flies, put your eraser to work. If it sounds funny without 'that,' leave it in!

WHICH: Using 'which' where 'that' would suffice sets up a stumbling block for the reader. Consider the following two sentences: "The book that caused such a stir was a ghost story" vs. "The book which caused such a stir was a ghost story." While some authorities would not consider the second sentence ungrammatical, it is clumsy, and the repeated use of 'which' for 'that' will turn a blog or book into an obstacle course for the reader.

There are places where 'which' should be used instead of 'that' to introduce a relative clause – specifically, when the relative clause that does not aid in the identification of the thing referred to but only provides information about it, as in 'This book, which I didn't expect to enjoy, took my breath away.'

6) Other 'Dead Weight' Words
Do you really think it's fair to require your reader to hack through a jungle of words like 'have,' 'has been,' 'be,' 'of',' and 'with'? These little words don't contribute much content, and the creative writer finds ways to minimize their use.

• Get ride of excessive occurrences of the various forms of the verb 'be' by substituting active verbs for passive constructions. ('The library ordered the book for me' vs. 'The book was ordered for me.')

• Overuse of the verb 'have' is kept to a minimum when the writer turns past perfect verbs into simple past tense and using another expression to clarify the temporal reference. ('As kids we often walked on that road' vs. 'We had often walked on that road.')

• Overuse of 'of' can be mitigated by using the possessive form. ('Susan's book' vs. 'that book of Susan's'.)

• The word 'with' covers a lot of territory in English. Why not replace it with a descriptive phrase to clarify the meaning and enliven the text? ('She picked up a knife and slashed the box open' vs. 'She opened the box with a knife.')

7) Opaque Vocabulary and Sentence Structure
If I'm reading a book or a blog, I like to think I'm understanding its message. As a writer, there are a number of tools at your disposal to help me feel better in this regard.

•'Obfuscatory' is a word that speaks for itself – if only I knew what it was saying...! Unless you're writing for academicians, engineers, doctors or lawyers, avoid using ten-dollar words and jargon. Consider your audience and adjust your vocabulary accordingly.

• If you're writing a sentence packed with interwoven ideas, consider breaking it up into two or even three sentences. Today's harried and hurried reader has little patience for unnecessarily complex prose. Breaking up your sentences also gives you an opportunity to vary your sentence length to achieve the variety in tempo that gives texture to your writing.

• If you are expressing two or more complex bits of information about a single person or thing, I suggest you either conjoin them with 'and' or, if you use a nonparallel grammatical structure, that you keep the name of the person or thing together with the main clause. To illustrate: 'Never one to avoid controversy, John jumped in with both feet' is easier to process than 'John, never one to avoid controversy, jumped in with both feet.'

• In nonfiction, set lists of items you want me to remember apart with bullets.

If you take the time to go through your book or blog and find and eliminate the obstacles you've placed in the reader's path, your writing will be easier on the reader. Get the lead out!