Question and Answer

The Sentence Doctor

Q: Does this sentence make sense to you? How would you rephrase these sentences to sound more right?
(Questioner says, "English is my second language by the way:)" )

"Please, please please someone guide me through. I do not nearly love myself as much as I did before. I tried blaming others, it all comes back at me twofold. I tried to wash it out by intoxicating myself with musics, nothing works."

A: Yes, it makes sense, But it's actually several sentences. And there are a few corrections to make... though your English is astonishingly good for a non-native speaker. I particularly like the image of trying to wash it out by intoxicating yourself with music.

You should put a comma after each occurrence of 'please'. You should move 'nearly' to be just before 'as much as I did before.' You should replace the comma after 'others' with a semicolon or add the word 'and' or 'but'. Likewise, you should replace the comma after 'musics' with a semicolon or add the word 'but'. And you MUST take the 's' off of 'musics'.

So... it might read, 'Please, please, please, someone guide me through. I do not love myself nearly as much as I did before. I tried blaming others, but it all comes back to me twofold. I tried to wash it out by intoxicating myself with music, but nothing works.'

This entry was chose as "Best Answer" to the question "Does this sentence make sense to you?" on Yahoo! Answers on August 9th, 2010.

Source(s):

http://www.wordweaverblog.com, http://www.wordweaver4u.com, http://www.wordweaverblog.blogspot.com, http://www.bookblogghostcopywritereditor.blogspot.com,

Author Question and Answers

What do you do to keep from getting bored when writing?

Q: I'm currently writing a book, and I've gotten to where when I sit down to start writing I really don't want to. I'll want to until I sit down to actually write, then I just want to do something else. What do you do when this happens?

A: Sometimes, I get up and go do something else! Ask yourself, are you allowing enough fun into your life? All work and no play does indeed make Jack a dull boy. And you're the only one who can judge your fun status.

But if that's not the problem, it may be that you've pre-structured your writing too much. If you're writing nonfiction you pretty much have to follow your outline, but if it's fiction you're writing, are you pre-planning the life out of your characters? Do you think you know them so well they can't surprise you? If so, let go of the reins. Give them their head, and they're bound to come up with some delightful surprises that will energize you.

One way or another, you have to get over being bored. After all, you're the only one who can breathe life into your work. What excited you about this project in the first place? Get back to that, and chances are you'll feel energized again. Maybe you need to throw a wrench into the works -- a new character or problem situation -- to wake you up.

Whatever you do, do something different.

Author Question and Answer

Q: When you're writing a book, is it best to write the first chapter first?

A: Not necessarily. You can start anywhere. The first chapter can be the hardest to craft, and many writers find it easier to leave it to the end. Starting at the beginning can give you a sense of continuity, but don't spend a lot of time there because you may get new ideas as the story or discussion develops that you'll want to work into the opening. The beginning of the book often ends up vastly different from the way the author initially imagined it.

Q: Why should you generally use active voice instead of passive voice?

A: The main reason you should generally use active voice rather than passive voice is that the active voice enlivens your writing, whereas overuse of the passive voice can render it dull and lifeless.

There are two primary factors at work here:

a) The focus of a clause or sentence in active voice is on the performer of the action, and therefore on the action itself, while the focus of a passive clause or sentence is on the object affected by the action, and therefore on the outcome or result of the action.

b) The passive voice forces you to use at least one relatively empty word (some form of the verb "to be"); if you want to identify the performer of the action, you must also use the relatively empty preposition "by." Empty words sit silent in your sentences and suck the life out of your writing.

If you listen to sportscasters, you will hear all active verbs when they're describing a play in the making; later, when they're analyzing the play, you may hear a passive verb here and there. No, they don't do this on purpose; it's what we do naturally when we speak.

Note how the first example below feels like a description of the event itself, while the second feels more like an explanation after the fact:

1a) Jessie threw the ball.

1b) The ball was thrown by Jessie.

Once in a while, however, the passive voice is more appropriate. It's a matter of focus. If you want to focus on the outcome or result of an action rather than on the action or the performer of the action, use the passive voice.

Examples:

2a) The baseball hit him in the chest.

This sentence might be appropriate as an answer to the question "What just happened?"

2b) He was hit in the chest by the baseball.

This sentence might be appropriate as an answer to the question "Why is he all bandaged up?"

2c) He was hit in the chest.

This sentence might also be appropriate as an answer to the question "Why is he all bandaged up?" Here, the agent is unexpressed, or possibly unknown. This sentence is all about what happened to the fellow who got hit.

3a) Andrew Morley wrote this book.

This sentence is about Andrew Morley and what he did.

3b) This book was written by Andrew Morley.

This sentence is about the book itself.

So don't be afraid to use the passive voice, but save it for cases when you want to focus on the outcome or the person or thing affected by the action of the verb. It's easy to overuse the passive; I suggest you go over your writing and substitute active voice wherever appropriate. If in doubt, use active voice.

Liven Up Your Writing!

Want to be a better writer?

Writing is like people, in that it wants to be leaner, cleaner, and more energetic. And it wants to dance! Your writing may need to go on a word diet and exercise program. Here are some suggestions:

1. Eliminate any "empty" words, i.e., words that don't add to the message. Look for deletable instances of 'that' and 'is/was/are/were/has/had' (and combinations of these, like 'that are' or 'who were').

2. Get rhythm! Read your writing aloud to hear the cadence. (The French writer Flaubert was famous for his 'gueuloir', his 'shouting room', where he regularly read his own work out loud to make sure it had ear appeal.)

3. If the rhythm is dull, spice it up by varying word length and sentence length and structure.

4. Choose active verbs over passive whenever possible. (It's almost always possible.)

5. At every opportunity, replace a dull and lifeless word with one that is more specific and energetic. (Yes, a thesaurus is a writer's best friend!)

6. To add life, keep it simple. Avoid unnecessary nominalizations (like the previous word), i.e., long nouns derived from verbs. Instead of saying 'he made a decision,' say 'he decided.' Note: In the case of 'nominalization', we have a noun based on a verb ('nominalize') that is itself based on a noun ('nom', Latin for 'noun').

7. Vary your vocabulary; avoid overusing any one word.

8. If you're referring to a person, add life by writing 'who' instead of 'that'.

9. Use commas to break up long sentences.

7. Use a variety of different sentence structures in each paragraph.

10. Keep your paragraphs short. 7-10 lines is long enough!

I hope you find this helpful. This entry was chose as "Best Answer" to the question "What can I do to improve my writing?" on Yahoo! Answers on August 6th, 2010.